Can we really just sit by????

"Sometimes I'd like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine and injustice when He could do something about it...but I'm afraid He might ask me the same question." ~ Anonymous

"We are the first generation that can look extreme and stupid poverty in the eye, look across to Africa and elsewhere, and say this and mean it: we have the cash, we have the drugs and we have the science - but do we have the will? Do we have the will to make poverty history? Some say we can't afford to. I say we can't afford not to." - Bono

"Because where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."

~ Matthew 6:21 ~

What to say?

No news...nothing much to write. I'm still feeling way down in the dumps but it is refreshing to see actual sunshine. Life is just so weird sometimes.

Anyway...one year ago today we were in China waiting to see if we would get to meet Evan. All the other families received their children on this day but we had to wait because our paperwork wasn't ready. Our actual "gotcha day" anniversary is tomorrow. I seriously can't believe a whole year has gone by since that little tornado joined our family! More pics and updates on him tomorrow to celebrate one year!

There has been TONS of exciting adoption news on PEI lately...we've had a family return home recently with their little one from China, there is a family in China right now, we had 2 families receive referrals from China in the last couple of weeks, we have another family waiting to hear about a referral any day (from China) and we've had a couple of families return from Ethiopia with their new children. That's a lot of happy mommies and daddies!!!

More tomorrow....

There is nothing positive to write...we received the dreaded news this week about the little one we are hoping to adopt. The court date for the child was not successful which means crown wardship (permanent custody) was not granted. At this point, we are not sure why...we don't know if custody was given back to the mother or if another court date was set to fight it out in court. I don't think I ever let myself really think about the court date failing...needless to say, it was a punch in the gut when I was told. I knew I shouldn't get my hopes up but you know what...I'm still naive and believe in the "good". I just assumed in my belief that this situation would turn out "good". It didn't. I don't know what is happening now...I don't know if our chances are over or if it just means another 6-12 months of waiting. If that's what it means, can we do that? And then at the end of that waiting be devestated again? I just don't know...

It's been a difficult week. There are some other issues we are living with, dealing with and trying to sort through with our oldest, oldest son. He is back living with us. That is a HUGE change for us...we are struggling with being supportive for him and trying to hold the rest of the family together.

Well...when it rains it pours. I'm dying for a little sunshine.

Life is so unpredictable

Evan and I got home last Wednesday. Life has thrown us some curves...very sad and unnerving curves.

I will say Evan is a real trooper and is doing well! His swelling has gone down and his face is looking much, much better! He is definitely still favoring his sore hip and tonight we take the bandages off to reveal the "big scar" :-)

So as far as Evan goes...all is good...each day is getting stronger and feeling more like himself.

As for the other things life is throwing at us...we are dealing with a very sad death and some very emotional things with our oldest, oldest son. I wish I could share more details as I would love to ask for advice but right now we are trying to sort through some of the issues.

Do you ever feel like there is something "more" you should be doing but it seems so huge it doesn't seem possible? I have been feeling like this for quite awhile now. In the last few months different situations have come up that keep pointing me in a certain direction. Yet, the direction seems too impossible...how do you know when to give up everything for the "something" that might mean everything? Confused? YES, SO AM I!!

Enjoy the sun today!

What a kid!

Well Evan seems to be getting back to his old self...cranky, demanding and wanting a new toy! His pain is much worse but that's because they were trying to give him less meds. Needless to say, we asked for an extra dose and PLEASE lace it with lots of codeine...haha...kidding of course...sort of.

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He is CRANKY! I guess I would be too but this is what I feared...being alone with him and not being able to do anything to please him :-( We brought the game cube and after a frantic phone call to Dylan at home to see why it wasn't working we realized dumb me - I forgot one of the cords so he isn't able to play it. I'm trying to find one here in the hospital...surely somewhere on some floor there is an extra gamecube!

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When the pediatrician was checking over Evan she noticed a heart murmur so the cardiologist was in today to check it out. Evan does have 2 different heart murmurs I'm told and he will have a few tests later today. I'm sure everything will be fine and then.....hopefully we can leave tomorrow! YAY!!!!!

Sweet little thing...

**Update: Evan is out of surgery and I'm told it went really well. I can't see much right now...lips and nose are swollen. He is sore but sleeping with all those great meds! :-)

I just left the hospital. Evan is fast asleep and they have begun his surgery. It should take about 4 hours. They are telling me it will be very painful for a few days. They are taking bone from his hip (which is the most painful part) and then they'll make it into a putty like substance and fill in his palate.

I was able to go in with Evan while they put him to sleep. I've been lucky...every time one of my children had to be put to sleep they have let me in the operating room. I always feel so much better holding their hand and being the last face they see as they drift off.

I'm sure everything will go wonderfully. I'm heading back to set up his room and put up some balloons and get out his blankie and pillow.

Have a great day....
Tammy

It's Surgery Time!

Evan and I are heading back to IWK (Children's Hospital) in Halifax to have his big surgery. This time he is having a bone graft surgery to hopefully correct his palate once and for all. They will be taking bone from his hip and restructuring his palate. He did have surgery in November but when they removed some of his teeth (grown up in the cleft), it caused an even bigger split in the palate. So, this time, they will crack it (sounds horrific) and then restructure it.

We leave tomorrow for some pre surgery appointments and then his actual surgery is on Monday morning with Dr. Precious. Isn't that an awesome name for a child doctor?! Unfortunately, Chris isn't able to come with me this time. He will be staying home with the other kiddos and he working. He also just found out he is working the night shift ALL WEEK so now my dad has kindly offered to come and stay at our house to help with the kids. And that leaves little 'ole me all alone at the IWK. I'm thinking optimistically - I'm taking my laptop and I have a project to organize the last 6 years of digital photos...I've borrowed lots of new books to read and I'll be taking the game cube to occupy Evan.

Staying 24/7 in a small hosptial room for 5-6 days isn't really my idea of a great time BUT we sure are excited to finally have this surgery for Evan. He is extremely thrilled to finally have his "hole closed" as he knows it will help with his speech and with all the gross stuff coming out his nose (and we are definitely happy about that as well).

So, wish us luck and wish me sanity!!!!!!! :-)

On another note....do you think we should cut Evan's hair short....the way it is now is sweet...it's just that it is always sticking up in the back like a rooster. But when it's really short does it look too severe??????

Evan with the buzz cut...last summer in China

Evan with his longer hair...now